*VentationAgain*

[FlowerHeartt]

Okay? Last time i was telling you about my boyfriend who "i loved so much". Well i Screwed tht Sh*tt up!! I was at this lock-in thing and he didnt go. A group of people came up to me and asked me if i was the one dating "name", i said yeah, why. Then they told me he was cheating on me?!?!?!?!? i was f*cking devastated. I went to the bathroom and cried for a while. Then i went to hang with my friend (who also was told he was cheating on me, BTW the chick he was supposedly cheating on me with was the B*tch from the last venting) and she was with her boyfriend and one of his friends. She had finally convinced me to kiss the friend to get back at *name*. I kissed him a lot that, i dont understand why i did it. I dont even F**king believe in "revenge". I feel so ashamed of myself now. And now im starting to actually believe all those names they call me at school: Bitch, Whore, Slut, Piece of shit, Homeless, Ugly.. need any more examples?? Wtf was i freaken thinking??? Omg if i could just back in time and change that night i would. the girl that they said he cheated on me with, he is know dating! wtf man? the worst part is i cant even apologise to him! i wish i could just let him know that i really do wish i hadn't of done that and that im sincearly sorry and i miss and love him. but i cant he blocked me from everything. which i can understand. he can hate me all he wants, i deserved it and i dont really have a point of living now..... why am i? im not shure!?!?