So, something interesting happened to me today.

[Taylor]

Today in general was a pretty good day. It was my mom's birthday, so she went out with her friends to watch a movie while I went to the mall to go get her a present. So, I spent the day hanging out with one of my good friends, & smelling Lush goodies & whatnot.
I went home, had a night where I finally didn't fight with her, and went to my room.
I was on facebook for a while & I posted this status:

"no one ever: i like you
no one ever: you're really pretty
no one ever: do you want to go on a date
no one ever: are you okay
no one ever: hi"

a few people commented about how I was pretty, or how guys really did like me, & I was starting to get kind of pissed off honestly. I don't like when people compliment me a lot, especially when I'm the one who says something negative about myself, I feel like they're just saying it to make me feel better.
But then this guy I really liked commented and he said:
taylor, you're pretty, what are you talking about?
THEN
taylor, ill take you on a date to prove to you that you are pretty.

I asked if he was serious, and he said he was. Honestly, I was going crazy, and crying, and I don't even know.

The only thing that I'm pissed off about is the fact that I'm so negative about everything, even this. After I stopped freaking out I kept being pessimistic and thinking; what if he's just saying that?
I kept thinking there's no way in hell he's serious, he's just saying this now to cheer me up & it's not going to happen, & even if it does it's a pity date.

I don't know.
I guess I'm really happy,
but my attitude is killing it for me.

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

<3 That is such a sweet thing to do, and i understand what your talking about when your negative about yourself, my grandmother emotionally abuses me and has driven it into my head that i will never be good enough or pretty enough or smart enough to do anything, she thinks ill end up just like my momma a drugie but the only reason my mom is like that is because they just cant get along.I cant get along with my family either so i know what you mean when theres that one day that everybody is peaceful and doesnt fight and simply gets along for a while :3 I know what its like to be taken on a pity date and i know how awkward it feels to not feel appreciated but there are people who you will meet that will tell you things to make you feel better and sometimes they lie but thats what keeps some people going.Every one wants some one to wake up beside them and say Good morning beautiful and tell them that they love you for you its just a natural desire and there is someone for everyone and im sure you think im just trying to make you feel better im not.Im just saying the truth and what i believe.


~and you are really pretty in a way most people arent, your beautiful in your insecurities and how even though your life is bad you still decide to wake up in the morning.You are beautiful in the fact that you are strong enough to go on living no matter how hard it is YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

[Taylor]

I'm sorry about your family :/
My family.... God, it just seems like they're always looking to fight with me. I honestly try to be really nice to them and most of the time they just yell about how I don't appreciate them, & lecture me.
& I honestly don't know if it's a pity date or not, & I don't even know if it's going to happen... I mean he's not the most reliable person. But I do hope you're right about all of that. I'm kind of.. okay, VERY, bitter about relationships. I just.. I don't know haha. You read my rant about love, I believe?

But thank you! c:

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

I DID!! i dont have a phone (cause i didnt want to buy minutes this month) but if you have a skype you can message me anytime :3 and if you want i can send you a link to my facebook so we can talk there but i plan on getting my mom to buy me minutes this month.

[Taylor]

I don't have a skype! But you could add me on facebook. I'll just post my link here, because I don't mind if anyone form here adds me, really:
https://www.facebook.com/TayWayFerSure

[Taylor]

So, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that he was bullshitting me, because I sent him a message on... I think Monday? He's been online every day, & it's Thursday now, and he hasn't replied. I just feel stupid for actually believing that, I don't know I thought maybe stuff would start to turn around, but I guess I was just being dumb.

And onto a more serious topic into the pressing issues of my life, my mom didn't get a tax refund this year, and we're probably losing the house. :/
So yeah, things are great.

[Taylor]

I'm probably just stupid, but why is it that I always seem to get ignored the most when I post stuff? Sometimes I feel like you guys avoid me like the black plague. I mean seriously, when I comment on stuff sometimes I'm ignored, or I kill the conversation, and when I post something I'm lucky if one person responds, and they usually don't continue to respond lol.

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

Oh no i havent even been on because people avoid me and people stop replying so i usually dont get on any more! Plus ive been a little unwell! but it only takes one person to change the your day.And im sorry that it turned out that he was an asshole im sure that karmas gonna kick his ass if you dont get to it first!

[Taylor]

It's alright, but yeah I know what you mean. Man, I could post the same RP as someone and if I'm lucky one person will respond, but on the other person's like... three or more will join. It's just annoying. & Yeah, but unfortunately they usually change my day in a bad way, or so it seems :/
& To be fair, I kind of knew he was an asshole from the start. But sometimes he can be really nice. I just opened my eyes I guess. I still like him, and God only knows why the hell I do, but yeah. Thanks.

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

yeah recently i had a fight with one of my guy best friends and it got me really upset because we were close and now hes being an ass and refusing to speak to me. T.T some people can be such idiots that sometimes i dont even know why i try.

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

i usually just blog whenever i feel bad, and its like telling people everything on your mind and them not judging you or anything just listening.


http://thewordmostdontunderstand.blogspot.com/

^my personal blog

[Taylor]

Awh, I'm sorry. That blows. Jeez, guys always complain about girls being weird, but I think guys are worse with their emotions. lol.
& I have a tumblr, and I rant on there, but I think I'm going to make a blogspot now, because none of my friends have one of those, and I can't say anything too personal on tumblr anymore because of that...

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

yeah i stopped tumbling because it just didnt feel right for letting out how i felt, i just liked scrolling through the funny pictures.

[Taylor]

Yeah, I post a lot of band stuff on my current tumblr, and most of the time when I post personal things it just feels weird, everything's a read more post, and the thought that any of my followers could be reading it just creeps me out. o.e

[WalrusFaces (Layla)]

yeah especially when theres that one person you dont want reading it but you know that they will.

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