i'm so pissed off over irrelevant shit that no one cares about but i'm gonna tell you guys anyways.

[Jenna]

i hit fucking tweet limit from trying to get one of my idols to follow me and he didn't fucking follow me and i watched his fucking twitcam and was one of the first thousand people to start watching it and it really fucking pisses me off the he'll never notice me.

none of them will ever notice me.

i have fucking ten idols. one direction and the janoskians. why can't ONE fucking notice me?

i don't even care if they just retweeted me or tweeted me back or followed me or anything. anything. just saying my name or anything. i get so pissed off and sad because they'll never notice me.

why?

because i'm an irrelevant girl from the fucking united states.

i don't understand why everyone gets noticed and followed and tweeted and all of this shit like a billion times and i don't get fucking anything. like really? how about you sit your greedy ass down and let some people that haven't been noticed get noticed.

i really need to take another twitter break. i took one a few days ago and it was probably the best few days of my life. i mean seriously. i wasn't stressing over whether or not i'm gonna get fucking noticed. school will help me keep my mind off this shit some, but fucking time zones will fucking ugh. they fucking suck. i fucking hate time zones.

i fucking hate that one of my idols does a twitcam when i can't watch them or when i'm asleep or because the laptop freezes every ten fucking seconds. i fucking hate that i don't have my own computer so that i could be able to do shit like this. i fucking hate that i will never get fucking noticed by my fucking idols because i'm fucking irrelevant and they only follow or notice fucking pretty fans.

i fucking hate that i can't hug them and tell them that they saved my life because they live on the other side of the world.

i fucking hate being a fangirl. it fucking sucks, actually. because you put all your time and energy into getting noticed by them and you never will. and i can't fucking stand it.

i just fucking hate everything, really. i fucking hate school. i fucking hate my family. i fucking hate how i argue with my parents nonstop. i fucking hate everyone in my irrelevant ass town. i fucking hate how my ipod is about to die. i fucking hate how we have no damn money. i fucking hate how there are a bunch of whores in my school. i fucking hate that there are so many prettier and skinnier people in my town and that i'll never get a real boyfriend because they all think i'm ugly. i fucking hate how mississippi doesn't have magnet schools because i'm too damn smart to be stuck with these ignorant ass people. i fucking hate how everything's turning out. i fucking hate that i wake up in the morning glad that i actually made it to that day, but scared of whether or not i'll make it to the next. i fucking hate that i'm fucking crying right now. i fucking hate that i'm in the living room and anyone could walk in at any fucking moment and see me crying and call me a pussy. i fucking hate that lately all i've wanted to do is self-harm. i fucking hate that i'm shaking at the moment. i fucking hate that i haven't had any professional help yet. i fucking hate that i'm so good at hiding my depression. i fucking hate that i'm great at faking smiles. i fucking hate that no one fucking cares that i'm not happy, and i'm scared i'll never be happy. i fucking hate that no one cares enough to see if i'm okay. i fucking hate that my best friend is a year below me. i fucking hate that my other best friend is in fucking tennessee, where i belong. i fucking hate that i fucking hate every little thing. i fucking hate that ed sheeran isn't helping. i fucking hate that i don't have much metal on my ipod anymore. i fucking hate that pandora is a dick. i fucking hate that wattpad keeps fucking crashing. i fucking hate that the great sleeping schedule i had is not fucking fucked up. i fucking hate that school starts back in like two days.

i fucking hate everything, okay.


i'll probably delete this later.