The Ribbons (Title May Change)

[Morgan]

The Ribbons

When you see a ribbon what do you think? That it's a decoration? Like its nothing more and meaningless? When you see a ribbon do you stop and figure out the story behind each and every one? Wondering what they mean and why they're there?
A ribbon is more than a decoration and it's very meaningful. It has its own story. Its own once upon a time, in a land far far away, and happily never after. Do we take the time and listen to these stories and understand them? No, it's something we tend to steer clear of and try not to contemplate to much about. It's something we keep out of our everyday lives, unless it effects us or someone close to us.
This is The Ribbons.
-----------------------------
My name, it's nothing more than a color. The color I hide myself in. The color my life is revolving around. The color that tells my story.
Periwinkle.
Yes, a light purple. So soft and sweet, innocent, and cute. Nothing like the meaning behind it. I'm not defined as innocent and sweet. More of a twig, unhealthy and more. Or that's how I use to be defined as. Not anymore. I've left behind the color periwinkle and no longer live by it. I've made it my goal, my job, to show the people what periwinkle does to you. How it changes you and makes you different than everyone else. How it doesn't always make you beautiful, or accepted. When people catch on they tell you that you need help, and what your doing is wrong. It's not wrong in your eyes, why is it in theirs? It isn't their life so why does it matter?
Because they won't let the color periwinkle hold you back.
My name is Morgan, and this is my story.

[babydoll16508]

You're really good at writing intros.

[Morgan]

Aw, thank you. I wrote this like a month ago and never posted it. All I know is its going to be a true story, I just don't know how I'm gonna word everything.

[Sauske Is A Cat]

This looks really great so far.

[Morgan]

(: Aw thank you! I hoping to actually work on this one and get more done. Its like an awareness story type thing.

[babydoll16508]

You're welcome. I mean, you're good at catching people's attention. You usually don't post much more so I don't know about the rest, but if your middles are as good as your beginnings then I'm sure you'll make it big as a writer one day. (Sorry, that sounds wrong, I know.) Oh, and just word everything from the heart. It usually translates the best.

[Morgan]

Looking back at everything now, I probably would never except the size ten I am today. I'd frown upon the small 36B cups, and the wide hips. I wouldn't want any of this. But that's only because I wanted perfect. Not my version of perfect or yours, but societies. I mean, what person doesn't want to be societies image of perfect?
I don't anymore.

Everything started when I was twelve. Yes, twelve. I was teased and picked on. Taunted and called names. Ha, I blocked most out and forgot a lot of details. I guess thats a good thing, right? Anyway, a twelve year old girl's life was changed. She wasn't pretty, or skinny, or perfect. She wasn't like the others.
She didn't eat.

Yes, as a twelve year old girl I refused to eat. My life from then on out, was tainted but the color periwinkle.

I remember I use to go to the Boy's and Girl's Club durning the summer while my parents worked. My mom packed my lunch every day. Pringles, Slim Jims, peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwiches. Oh they were so good. At lunch, I gave away pringles to anyone. Everyone wanted them. The slim jims someone would end up with. The one thing I could never get rid of, the sandwich. Oh that thing, I hated it. I mean it was my favorite sandwich but at this part of my life I couldn't stand it. No one would take it and you couldn't just throw good food away. My mom check my lunch pale and everything. As we would walk to the main building from the lunch room, I tossed the sandwich in the bushes. For a long time, I was never caught.

Then one day, a staff member caught me. Told me she was going to tell my mom. I was so scared. At twelve, you could see every bone in my body. Every rib. I was a walking skeleton.

One day my mom, she pulled me into the bathroom and locked the door. My parents never believed in spanking or anything. She put the toilet seat down and sat down. She pulled me into her lap and hugged me tight. She cried. I didn't know why. I never knew what she was going to say until she did.

"Morgan, I don't want to see my twelve year out girl laying lifeless in a hospital bed attached to wires. With a tube down her throat and IVs in her arms. I don't want to lose my daughter at twelve. I don't want to see my daughter starving. I don't want to see you die."

[babydoll16508]

Awwwe.

[Morgan]

Sad part is, everything is true.

[babydoll16508]

I believe you.
But there's really not much I can say to.I just wanted you to know that I read it.
But yeah.

[Morgan]

I mean, I'm down for like any style ideas and stuff. I mean, you know. But thank you for reading. I wanted to get my story out there some how you know?

[babydoll16508]

Yeah, I understand. Just let the writing take you where it does, and one day you can organize it the way you feel it deserves to be and develop it more.

[Morgan]

After my mom said of this I knew something was wrong. I never accepted it. I was called pretty by family, but my pain resided at school. The constant teasing and mocking and more. It was to much.
"You're fat!"
"You're not skinny enough!"
"You ugly fat girl!"
You know, words shouldn't hurt you. Everyone knows the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Yeah, I wish that was true. Those words, they got to me. A twelve year old just trying to fit into this world. It wasn't fair and we all know it. I know it and they know it to.
I wasn't just not eating. At twelve I had no idea what an eating disorder was. It wasn't taught to us like it is now. We had no health class addressing that it was wrong to binge and purge. To starve yourself. I just thought others did this too.
My sister did.
Yeah, she was twenty three and had three children. I saw her eat something then run to the bathroom. I heard the vomiting. I thought it was normal.
I started this too. I would eat for my parents just so they thought I was okay. After dinner, when I would go take my bath, I would turn on the water and bend over the toilet seat. The rib shaking vomiting attacks proceeded back to back.
I didn't know I was hurting myself. I didn't know I was damaging my body. I didn't know I was sick.
It was my secret. Go to school, do my work, go to lunch and pawn off my lunch and throw the rest away. Yeah I know. That food could have saved a starving child in Africa, but it was killing a starving girl in America. I'd return to class and go home, do homework, then eat dinner. Go to take my bath and purge. Hacking and coughing.
I was just a normal preteen girl, with an ugly secret.

[babydoll16508]

Awwe. Which sister was that? The one who's having another baby or your other sister?

[Morgan]

The one I don't claim. Aha. Amber, the pregnant one.

[babydoll16508]

Hahaha. Damn, you're not claiming her now! Wow.

[Morgan]

No not after she put her hands on me. Haven't talked to her since.

[babydoll16508]

Oh damn.That's a long time.

[Morgan]

Yeah I know. Im going to reply to this, sometime. I just...Cant right now.

[babydoll16508]

Understandable. No rush.

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